It Really Is Hard On The Knees

Eight years ago, we travelled to the city of the smelly marble mausoleum. We were strangers in a strange house, guests of a nanchuk-weilding boor of an acquaintance. We stayed up nights, drank our sickly sweet chais and made right royal asses of ourselves. It was a strange and wonderful holiday – we laughed and [...]

The Baajuhut Guide to Mumbai

Good evening, or as Snow White said to the Seven Dwarves – Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello.
You are doing well, I hope? Good good. The colour’s definitely returned to your cheeks – no doubt a result of the magnificent psychedelic toilet paper you are so fond of. And I see you’ve done your [...]

The Queen of the Supermarket

Curd lay in bed wondering if he had just dreamt about her. His rubbed his left arm gently – it was still asleep – and tried to recall why the rest of him had awoken with a start. He looked at his watch, and let out a sharp yelp. It was six and the joggers [...]

An Ode to Conjunctivitis

You wake up groggy; the world’s a blur,

You stumble, you trip, you curse the liqueur.

You were supposed to awaken crisp like toast

Yet here you are, as blind as a post

(You’re mixing your metaphors1 now, never a good sign.

The next time you drink, you stick to your rum.)

Damn.

 
You look in the mirror, you recoil with fear,

You [...]

The Rhyme Without The Reason

I was four when I spoke my first word. My parents insist I could understand everything and that I was just plain lazy, but I’m pretty sure they were worried. Needless to say, when the first excruciating word was finally extracted out of me, there was much celebration. I was expected, thence, to quickly race [...]

Nothing (In four parts)

I
Poetry
Is not some
thing I am good at.
I try (maybe not hard enough),
But
somehow
It ends up looking like this.

Damnit.

II
I remember this Ogden Nash book lying around at home. My brother had picked it up, and though I never saw him read it, he knew all the clever ones. Clever chap, my brother.
I remember wondering [...]

Sidey, Please

Crack knuckles, deep breath.
Baaju Hut shall live again.
An empty threat. Sigh!
 

Seeya Later, All Ye Waiters

 
I really can’t say what it is about waiters, but they really get my goat. Except of course, when they are actually supposed to be getting me my goat, in which case they ‘accidentally’ bring me cow. And that just gets my goat again, for which the lousy bastards expect me to tip them extra.
 
I [...]

In Rainbows

I had decided to post something this week, and so there I was, sitting patiently in front of the laptop, waiting for Lady Inspiration to arrive. She was a little late this time around, even by her standards.
And then, I saw this.
Smashing, said I! The best band in the world is now, clearly, also the [...]