I’ve been working for thirteen months now without a break. I’ve managed to run through four different companies, three countries and two bottles of after-shave. I’ve been yelled at, reasoned with, shabaash-ed, cajoled and made to buy lollipops (I kid you not). There’ve been good bosses, nasty bosses and right-royal studs. I have called in sick only thrice and I have shaved every single working day.

I have worked in a steel wire manufacturing plant in China, a startup mobile phone company, a tea shop and a budget hotel. Lunch at work has spanned the culinary spectrum from Tihar-style dal-chawal to white rice with raw shrimp and boiled veggies. One colleague of mine set his car on fire; another had half his face paralysed; yet another slept with that hot lady from accounts (and bragged about it the next day).

I have sung ‘Hey Jude’ at a shady karaoke bar (nobody was drunk). I have lovingly informed a CEO that his company was “a disaster” (everyone was drunk).

And I have made Powerpoint presentations. Lots of them.

So, for the next two weeks, I’m on holiday! My phone will be off, my computer will be in its bag and my liver will be abused. Super.

–

When I get back to work, I will be working for yet another company – this time for a couple of years. Work will start in Mumbai, but embassy officials permitting, I will be based in some place called Matawan in New Jersey.

Han, Undead, JC , anyone else I know out there – don’t get yourselves deported until after I’ve arrived!